Scribblings Resurrection

What to write about?

Saturday, 26 June 2004

I find myself in an Internet café in Bethnal Green waiting for a friend who still has half an hour left on her connection. Rather than just twiddle my thumbs and look dumb I thought I’d buy myself half an hour (cheap at 50p!) and write something on this weblog.

What to write about though? I suppose I could scribble about the time ten minutes ago when I went outside for a ciggie and watched the world go by. There was a man up the road jumping up and down aiming flying leaps at the metal shutters on a shop. I have a feeling he may have been the owner of the shop and had managed to lock himself out. Poor chap. I hope he has a spare key at home. But no, perhaps I shouldn’t write about that as it’s probably of no interest to anyone else other than the Jumping Man and me.

What else is there to write about given that I still have 18 minutes left before the meter goes clunk? Do the meters on these Net Caff connections go clunk or do they just quietly die? We shall see.

Last night’s posting on my current bout of depression was one I thought a lot about. My boss at work, who is incredibly good at listening to me moan while nodding in the right places, had suggested a few days ago that perhaps I should write about it. So I did in the end. I’m not sure whether it did me any good but at least it made me think about what might be going on in my head in a way which I hadn’t thought before. Time will tell whether it’s been any use. If it has then perhaps I’ll write some more.

The odd thing is that at the moment I’m feeling almost fine but then depression is odd like that, at least mine are. I can be depressed and still feel happy for a few hours. Problem with that though is that it often makes me feel guilty. It’s almost as if whatever it is in my head which is making me depressed has a separate consciousness which says to me quietly in the background “Hey, what about me? You have to feed me you know!”. Blasted thing. Whatever it is.

Eight minutes left. Still haven’t found anything to write about but I’d better post what I haven’t written (pardon!?) because I always spot errors after I’ve posted. There yer go. A post about nothing at all.

Posted 26 June 2004, 18:37 BST